Where for art thou, oh sushi love of my life?

I’ve been meaning to write about Sushi Express for about a month now. Anywhere that gives you instant access to as much sushi as you can eat at the rate of a dollar per plate is incredible right? It really is a magical place where you sit in front of a conveyor belt loaded with a rainbow of raw deliciousness, where plates of sushi come marching your way, two by two, hoorah hoorah; A veritable endless parade of fish, rice and seaweed.

However, now a month has gone by and in that month my immediate infatuation with Sushi Express has dwindled into just a fond memory of what could have been. After such a perfect first date, I should have known not to have such high expectations for our second encounter. After all, it was a rushed, impromptu meeting, just a quick bite before heading to work, not like our first leisurely dinner date where the green tea was sipped and my stack of 6 plates took an hour to form. Date two was just business, and four plates of mediocre sushi (and one plate of questionable sushi) later, my infatuation with Sushi Express was over. Maybe it was because it was 3:00 in the afternoon, too late to have fresh sushi from lunch and too early for the dinner rush. Maybe it was my placement at the end of the sushi circle where I was left to dig through the plates examined and rejected by all the other sushi-goers. Or perhaps, like all second dates, the rose colored glasses had been lifted and I realized, much as I had realized when grabbing the one perfect looking plate of sashimi that actually was the plastic sashimi display, anything too good to be true, usually is. You really should see the plastic food displays in this country though, they are seriously exquisite! It really wasn’t until I was trying my hardest to pry the clear plastic cover off the sashimi and was holding it sideways, that I realized, “Wow, this sashimi defies gravity, oh wait, it’s so shiny, oh I see, its not real, damnit.” I then had to coyly slide the fake plate back onto the conveyor belt, squishing it between the questionable looking sashimi, hoping no one saw the stupid foreign girl who tried to eat the plastic display.

In any event, I’ve decided not to see Sushi Express again. As my mom always said there are more fish in the sea, fresh, raw, delicious fish that won’t leave me wondering if I should find a toilet soon. Hopefully I’ll have more successful sushi tales soon, a true sushi love story. Here I come prince Nobu.

Jess and Stephanie's sea slug sushi selection (say that 5 times fast!)

the damage

An expat's view of Taiwan's cultural quirks

Taiwan's Dos

• Riding a bike while carrying an opened umbrella, while its not raining, to block the sun and also the view of where your going or who you’re riding into – acceptable
• Wearing a mini skirt all the way up to your non-existent butt – acceptable
• Locking a two year old out of the classroom and watching him cry all alone in the hallway for not being able to put on his shoes fast enough (by himself mind you, and he’s 2!) – highly acceptable
• Serving kidney beans atop of lentils, atop of mangos covered in some sugary syrup atop a pile of ice shavings – acceptable and popular
• Children remaining in school from 9am until 9pm at night if not longer before going home and doing homework until midnight- acceptable
• Drinking alcohol freely in public areas – acceptable (just not on the subway)
• Driving children around on scooters without helmets, seat belts and or anything strapping them in in any way – acceptable
• Driving like a crazed maniac on your scooter down the sidewalk at 60 miles an hour almost running over a class of toddlers – acceptable
• Garbage trucks playing misleading ice cream truck music, only to be a garbage truck – acceptable
• Taking your pet bunny, unleashed, to the beach or the neighborhood restaurant to hop freely amidst the other diners – acceptable
• Dressing as a power ranger to go surfing - acceptable
• Being 95 degrees out when its only June or raining for 48hrs non-stop - acceptable, apparently really normal
  

Don'ts

• Daring to drink water on the subway – not acceptable
• Showing shoulder or back skin, let alone cleavage! – not acceptable
• Serving beans in a savory fashion – not acceptable
• Maintaining awareness of those around so as not to maim or potentially kill them while, walking, biking or scootering – not acceptable
• Having garbage cans for public use in public areas – not acceptable (yet somehow the streets are so clean!)
  
• Using toilet paper and then flushing it down the toilet – not acceptable
• Swimming in water over 2 ft high – not acceptable
• Making pizza without topping it with corn – not acceptable
• Putting a leash on your dog before leaving the house or while crossing major traffic intersections – just not necessary

Lastly,

• Being exceedingly nice and accommodating to the stupid American slaughtering your language, getting annoyed at your culture she chose to live in and expecting you to help her lost, confused, giant butt regardless – accepted and dealt with more politely than any New Yorker could ever muster